Have you ever thought of where are you gonna be in the next few years or what will you become in 5 years?
There I was packing for my trip back to my parent’s home. You see, I’m living miles away from my parents and my trip back home is the kind of trip you need to bring your passport along. I’ve been living for almost 6 years using a passport as my identity card so I’m always taking a good care of it by keeping it inside my drawer. Whenever I need it for any banking transactions, I don’t have to search through every corner of my room. It’s always in my drawer, neatly placed.
Today, I realized something. That particular passport has been with me for 5 years. I went through it, flipping every page as if I was reading my favorite Seth-Grahamme Smith’s novel. Looking through my expired student’s visas, grinning at my picture and thinking how plump I was 5 years back and then there it was; the date of issue & date of expiry.
You might think how stupid I sound right now as I’m writing down how these dates matter. They do matter. This passport was issued 5 years ago. I remember the day how my teacher granted my mom’s permission to take me to the Indonesian embassy to renew my passport. I remember how my picture was taken; an old-man taking my picture with old-fashioned four-lenses camera. I’m not sure if I can be proud of this but I might have the memory’s of an elephant. Nah. Kidding. If I did I wouldn’t be struggling in memorizing those insane engineering formulas. Anyways, I clearly remembered the moment I received my passport & looking at the date of expiry; it was dated in the year of 2013.
2013. ‘Wow. Where am I gonna be in 2013? What will I be in 2013? Do I get to go to one of the top universities in Germany? Am I going to be studying journalism following the steps of Cristiane Amanpour of CNN? Am I going to have a witty, well-build boyfriend just as I wanted? Am I going to look better with perfectly-shaped eyebrows like Penelope Cruz and well-toned body like Fergie?’
That day, 2013 sounded crazy. It’s going to be awesome, I thought. Well, as I’m writing this down, it is the 31st of October (Halloween!) 2012. It’s not 2013, just yet, but 2012 is coming to an end and none of those wishes came true. I didn’t get to go to one of the best universities in Germany. I’m not following the step of Cristiane Amanpour. I don’t have a boyfriend and I don’t have those.. uuh y’know.
Things don’t always go as we want them to be. I might not majoring in journalism, but chemical engineering doesn’t sound so bad, though a really great amount of efforts and sacrifices are needed to go through it and by taking a count of how much money can be generated once you’re working in one of those giant oil companies in the Middle East. I might not have the perfect & dreamy boyfriend I wanted, but I made new friends and I swear to every diaper-wearing primates in this whole world, they are as awesome as my well-build imaginary boyfriend. Things happen for a reason and I believe those things I wanted, didn’t happen a reason.
It’s funny to think how deep in thought I can go through just by looking at a nearly-expired passport. As I used to say, future is uncertain and it’s beyond our human capability to predict. That’s life. We can only muddle through it, having the appetite for risks, not fearing of falling down and have the ability to bounce back to the top if we do.
Life is like a hard candy with surprise center. And if you ever get to the center, enjoy it while it lasts. ;)
“Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future.” - Denis Waitley